Monday, June 16, 2008
A day in the life of a bachelor
So the other day I was cleaning my apartment for mens group. As I was vacuuming I noticed that not only were the floors dirty, but the counters were dirty too. Thats when I was taken over by my instincts. I immediately pulled the hose attachment off of the vacume and proceeded to suck all of the food crumbs from the elevated surface. In the life of a bachelor, efficiency is key...
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
My thoughts on women and relationships, take it for what it's worth...
Those of you that know me also know about my last relationship, and those of you that don't will probably be able to piece it together after reading this post.
The one really good thing about a really bad relationship is that afterwards you know what you want, or at the least know for sure what you don't want, and therefore have a better idea of what you want in a spouse... Now please don't get me wrong, in no way, shape, or form am I advocating casual dating relationships to help you discover what you want. What I am saying is pursue a relationship with someone who encompasses everything that you want in a spouse, and if you are unfortunate enough to have that relationship end, then learn from it. I did. Alot of this is going to be really unpopular and get alot of people really mad at me, but I don't really care. If you don't like this then don't use it. Here is what I have learned.
I absolutely despise dating. I favor courting. Often I get the question "what's the difference?" My explanation sounds a little emotionally dead, but is a good analogy to point out the mindsets of the two. Dating is like going to the shoe store with absolutely no idea of your shoe size or what you are looking for in a shoe. So you blindly try on many pairs, wearing each one around the store until you realize that it is not what you want. Blindly moving on to the next pair, leaving the slightly used shoes on the floor with your foot funk left all over them. Courting is like going to the shoe store knowing your size, the style, and the color of the shoe you want. You take the shoe and very gently put it on, wear it around the store, and baring an act of God, you purchase the shoe. Yes, I just compared people to shoes, and marriage to a purchase, let the fallout begin...
Our world gives great value to the idea of "I want to finish college, accomplish things, and travel the world before I get married." Here I go, I'm about to stir the hornets nest... This is an incredibly STUPID mindset. A healthy God centered marriage is designed, not to inhibit you from accomplishing things, but so that both you and your spouse have someone to share your dreams with and to help accomplish goals with. Most of the women, scratch that, most of the people I know follow this flawed mindset. I'm not sure if it is from previous relationships in which the other person was super controlling or if they are just conned into it because society in general pushes it so hard. Either way, I find it sad.
Let me also say that If you are dumb enough to believe the whole "I need my independence" lie, then you and the members of the opposite sex are better off if you don't get into any romantic relationship until you get all of that out of your system.
Our society also is all about womens rights, and equality for the sexes. Which to most means a career for both parents while the kids get shoved off onto our default babysitter, the government (public school is what I'm talking about if you haven't figured it out yet)... I personally want to marry someone who wants to give up her traditional career when we have children. Not that I want a slave who will raise my children while I do whatever I want. I do however want a women who cares more about our children and their godly education than her career. I'm not trying to say that I am not for equality of the sexes, men and women were designed for equally important roles, but different ones.
This one may be more of my opinion and may apply differently to your relationships, but I know that when I'm in a relationship it makes me severely uncomfortable when the girl wants to hang out alone with other guys. I've heard some people argue that this is my issue of not trusting the girl involved, but what part of the women who says she wants to marry you, wanting to hang out with other guys without you or anybody else being around sounds unsuspicious? (I'm obviously not talking about something like an old friend coming into town and you are unavailable to meet the person with your other.) And all of this goes both ways, if the male wants to hang out one on one with other girls then that looks shady too... I don't really look at this as being controlling, I would never ask someone to make a sacrifice that I myself am not willing to do. In fact, in my next relationship I will do my best to avoid being completely alone with the girl involved until after we are married. I feel this way for two reasons: (1) because the Bible says to avoid the appearance of evil, and when people know that you have been alone with a member of the opposite sex their minds wonder. And (2) Because I understand that when you love someone and are alone with them, all logic goes straight out the window.
I find that many girls these days are severely damaged whether from previous relationships, their fathers, or both. Many are damaged to the point of being relationally non-functioning. It honestly breaks my heart for them. Up until last week that same thought would have had me sad for my own sake as well (as in there are no good ones left.) Since then my thoughts have changed. But that's in the next paragraph.
I used to put my future wife's looks and heart for the Lord on the same level of importance, that was a mistake, and not to mention terribly shallow of me. What I ended up with was a beautiful girlfriend who's looks blinded me to the state of her heart and the extent that she was damaged. I don't mean this to bash her, If anything my selfishness was to blame for causing her further damage, which pretty much makes me as much of a jerkwad as the guys that came before me... But back to the subject at hand. Up until the other day I hadn't realized that my shallowness was the cause of the pain I sustained from that relationship. Consequently I was, what I called, "disenchanted" with women in general. Which meant that I just kinda figured that's how all of them are, and that none of them were worth pursuing because of that. I was awakened from my flawed philosophy the other day while I was visiting my parents in Texas. I had dinner with an old friend who's relationship with the Lord I have always deeply respected. And true to what I remember about her, she is totally in love with God. Anyway, talking to her I realized that there are some awesome girls still out there, and that I now value a heart fully pursuing the Lord alot more than I value looks (not saying she's not cute, but that's not at all what this post is about.)
Right now I am not looking for a relationship, not because I want independence, but more so because I am still hurt from the last one and right now I am allowing the Lord to court my heart until he deems me well enough to bless me with the right one, which could be any day, who knows? Having said that I now have a better idea of what I desire in a wife.
The one really good thing about a really bad relationship is that afterwards you know what you want, or at the least know for sure what you don't want, and therefore have a better idea of what you want in a spouse... Now please don't get me wrong, in no way, shape, or form am I advocating casual dating relationships to help you discover what you want. What I am saying is pursue a relationship with someone who encompasses everything that you want in a spouse, and if you are unfortunate enough to have that relationship end, then learn from it. I did. Alot of this is going to be really unpopular and get alot of people really mad at me, but I don't really care. If you don't like this then don't use it. Here is what I have learned.
I absolutely despise dating. I favor courting. Often I get the question "what's the difference?" My explanation sounds a little emotionally dead, but is a good analogy to point out the mindsets of the two. Dating is like going to the shoe store with absolutely no idea of your shoe size or what you are looking for in a shoe. So you blindly try on many pairs, wearing each one around the store until you realize that it is not what you want. Blindly moving on to the next pair, leaving the slightly used shoes on the floor with your foot funk left all over them. Courting is like going to the shoe store knowing your size, the style, and the color of the shoe you want. You take the shoe and very gently put it on, wear it around the store, and baring an act of God, you purchase the shoe. Yes, I just compared people to shoes, and marriage to a purchase, let the fallout begin...
Our world gives great value to the idea of "I want to finish college, accomplish things, and travel the world before I get married." Here I go, I'm about to stir the hornets nest... This is an incredibly STUPID mindset. A healthy God centered marriage is designed, not to inhibit you from accomplishing things, but so that both you and your spouse have someone to share your dreams with and to help accomplish goals with. Most of the women, scratch that, most of the people I know follow this flawed mindset. I'm not sure if it is from previous relationships in which the other person was super controlling or if they are just conned into it because society in general pushes it so hard. Either way, I find it sad.
Let me also say that If you are dumb enough to believe the whole "I need my independence" lie, then you and the members of the opposite sex are better off if you don't get into any romantic relationship until you get all of that out of your system.
Our society also is all about womens rights, and equality for the sexes. Which to most means a career for both parents while the kids get shoved off onto our default babysitter, the government (public school is what I'm talking about if you haven't figured it out yet)... I personally want to marry someone who wants to give up her traditional career when we have children. Not that I want a slave who will raise my children while I do whatever I want. I do however want a women who cares more about our children and their godly education than her career. I'm not trying to say that I am not for equality of the sexes, men and women were designed for equally important roles, but different ones.
This one may be more of my opinion and may apply differently to your relationships, but I know that when I'm in a relationship it makes me severely uncomfortable when the girl wants to hang out alone with other guys. I've heard some people argue that this is my issue of not trusting the girl involved, but what part of the women who says she wants to marry you, wanting to hang out with other guys without you or anybody else being around sounds unsuspicious? (I'm obviously not talking about something like an old friend coming into town and you are unavailable to meet the person with your other.) And all of this goes both ways, if the male wants to hang out one on one with other girls then that looks shady too... I don't really look at this as being controlling, I would never ask someone to make a sacrifice that I myself am not willing to do. In fact, in my next relationship I will do my best to avoid being completely alone with the girl involved until after we are married. I feel this way for two reasons: (1) because the Bible says to avoid the appearance of evil, and when people know that you have been alone with a member of the opposite sex their minds wonder. And (2) Because I understand that when you love someone and are alone with them, all logic goes straight out the window.
I find that many girls these days are severely damaged whether from previous relationships, their fathers, or both. Many are damaged to the point of being relationally non-functioning. It honestly breaks my heart for them. Up until last week that same thought would have had me sad for my own sake as well (as in there are no good ones left.) Since then my thoughts have changed. But that's in the next paragraph.
I used to put my future wife's looks and heart for the Lord on the same level of importance, that was a mistake, and not to mention terribly shallow of me. What I ended up with was a beautiful girlfriend who's looks blinded me to the state of her heart and the extent that she was damaged. I don't mean this to bash her, If anything my selfishness was to blame for causing her further damage, which pretty much makes me as much of a jerkwad as the guys that came before me... But back to the subject at hand. Up until the other day I hadn't realized that my shallowness was the cause of the pain I sustained from that relationship. Consequently I was, what I called, "disenchanted" with women in general. Which meant that I just kinda figured that's how all of them are, and that none of them were worth pursuing because of that. I was awakened from my flawed philosophy the other day while I was visiting my parents in Texas. I had dinner with an old friend who's relationship with the Lord I have always deeply respected. And true to what I remember about her, she is totally in love with God. Anyway, talking to her I realized that there are some awesome girls still out there, and that I now value a heart fully pursuing the Lord alot more than I value looks (not saying she's not cute, but that's not at all what this post is about.)
Right now I am not looking for a relationship, not because I want independence, but more so because I am still hurt from the last one and right now I am allowing the Lord to court my heart until he deems me well enough to bless me with the right one, which could be any day, who knows? Having said that I now have a better idea of what I desire in a wife.
Monday, June 2, 2008
Why I carry, and other carry answers...
On my 21st birthday I applied for my Georgia Firearms License. Since I received it I have carried everywhere that I legally can. In the short time that I have carried I have already had many questions asked by people (I open carry most of the time, yes it's legal here) Some family, some friends, and some random strangers. I will try to address most of them here in this post.
Q: Why do you carry a gun?!
A: Watch the news.
Q: Why do you need a gun in Kroger?!
A: Last month a bank in Kroger in Atlanta was robbed.
Q: But that was Atlanta.
A: In December of 2007 a police officer was nearly stabbed to death in a Kroger in Athens. Not to mention another officer that was assaulted at the same location a month later by a convicted felon.
Q: Do you carry with one in the chamber?
A: yes
Q: Oh my gosh, why!? Don't you know that's dangerous!?
A: Do you buckle your seatbelt when you sit down, or wait till you think a car wreck is imminent? A modern firearm is perfectly safe having one in the chamber. Even a Glock which considered by many to be dangerous because it has no external safeties is designed to only fire when the trigger is pulled. The firing pin isn't under pressure, and is actually resting against a small block of metal that keeps it from touching the primer until the trigger is pulled.
Q: You only carry because you have a small...
A: Yes, you caught me. (sarcasm off) and next time you're in downtown Atlanta and two men try to rob and or kill you, just say "hold on while I whip this out" unzip, and see what happens.
Q: Aren't you a Christian? Jesus would never condone such a thing.
A: Yes, in fact I love the Lord whole heartedly. We all recall the story where Jesus was being arrested and one of the disciples chopped off a soldiers ear. Jesus knew his disciples were carrying swords and if he had a problem with that fact he most likely would have rebuked them for it. I believe he put a stop to violence because it was time to fulfill prophesy, not because he was against self defense. In fact in Luke 22:36 it says "He said to them, “But now if you have a purse, take it, and also a bag; and if you don't have a sword, sell your cloak and buy one."
Q: Don't you know that guns cause violence?
A: No they don't.
Q: Then why is England so safe?
A: have you actually looked at the knife crime stats of England? Criminals when banned from using one TOOL will find another. Guns don't cause crime, criminals do. Feeling lazy? Go here and click knife crime on the right side http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/justice/%20
Now there's a campaign to prosecute anyone who carries a knife. BRILLIANT!
Q: But what about the children?!
A: Actually there are things that are far more dangerous to children than guns, including swimming pools and not breastfeeding. http://political-resources.com/misc/guns.htm
Q: In our day and age you don't need a gun, isn't that what the police are for?
A: Out of the 32 killed at Virginia Tech, 30 were killed after police arrived. The courts have ruled over and over that the police have no duty to protect the individual. Basically, they don't have to protect you, they aren't your babysitter, grow up.
Q: There was a time when everyone carried a gun, it was the "wild west."
A: Hollywood is to thank for the image that the so called wild west gets. Has it ever occurred to you why the battle at the OK corral is so famous? I mean if gun battles and violence was so prevalent, then why would a thirty second gunfight in which three people died gain so much fame? Because the old west was not what many people think it was. "An armed society is a polite society, manners are good when one may have to back up his acts with his life" - Robert Heinlein.
Let me end by saying that I am not out to shoot anyone. I honestly don't think that I could ever shoot someone to defend my own life. Granted thats not something you can predict if you've never been in that situation. I carry because millions of violent crimes are prevented or stopped by licensed weapons holders every year thereby making our world safer and if I can protect the lives of others, especially those close to me, then I will.
Q: Why do you carry a gun?!
A: Watch the news.
Q: Why do you need a gun in Kroger?!
A: Last month a bank in Kroger in Atlanta was robbed.
Q: But that was Atlanta.
A: In December of 2007 a police officer was nearly stabbed to death in a Kroger in Athens. Not to mention another officer that was assaulted at the same location a month later by a convicted felon.
Q: Do you carry with one in the chamber?
A: yes
Q: Oh my gosh, why!? Don't you know that's dangerous!?
A: Do you buckle your seatbelt when you sit down, or wait till you think a car wreck is imminent? A modern firearm is perfectly safe having one in the chamber. Even a Glock which considered by many to be dangerous because it has no external safeties is designed to only fire when the trigger is pulled. The firing pin isn't under pressure, and is actually resting against a small block of metal that keeps it from touching the primer until the trigger is pulled.
Q: You only carry because you have a small...
A: Yes, you caught me. (sarcasm off) and next time you're in downtown Atlanta and two men try to rob and or kill you, just say "hold on while I whip this out" unzip, and see what happens.
Q: Aren't you a Christian? Jesus would never condone such a thing.
A: Yes, in fact I love the Lord whole heartedly. We all recall the story where Jesus was being arrested and one of the disciples chopped off a soldiers ear. Jesus knew his disciples were carrying swords and if he had a problem with that fact he most likely would have rebuked them for it. I believe he put a stop to violence because it was time to fulfill prophesy, not because he was against self defense. In fact in Luke 22:36 it says "He said to them, “But now if you have a purse, take it, and also a bag; and if you don't have a sword, sell your cloak and buy one."
Q: Don't you know that guns cause violence?
A: No they don't.
Q: Then why is England so safe?
A: have you actually looked at the knife crime stats of England? Criminals when banned from using one TOOL will find another. Guns don't cause crime, criminals do. Feeling lazy? Go here and click knife crime on the right side http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/justice/%20
Now there's a campaign to prosecute anyone who carries a knife. BRILLIANT!
Q: But what about the children?!
A: Actually there are things that are far more dangerous to children than guns, including swimming pools and not breastfeeding. http://political-resources.com/misc/guns.htm
Q: In our day and age you don't need a gun, isn't that what the police are for?
A: Out of the 32 killed at Virginia Tech, 30 were killed after police arrived. The courts have ruled over and over that the police have no duty to protect the individual. Basically, they don't have to protect you, they aren't your babysitter, grow up.
Q: There was a time when everyone carried a gun, it was the "wild west."
A: Hollywood is to thank for the image that the so called wild west gets. Has it ever occurred to you why the battle at the OK corral is so famous? I mean if gun battles and violence was so prevalent, then why would a thirty second gunfight in which three people died gain so much fame? Because the old west was not what many people think it was. "An armed society is a polite society, manners are good when one may have to back up his acts with his life" - Robert Heinlein.
Let me end by saying that I am not out to shoot anyone. I honestly don't think that I could ever shoot someone to defend my own life. Granted thats not something you can predict if you've never been in that situation. I carry because millions of violent crimes are prevented or stopped by licensed weapons holders every year thereby making our world safer and if I can protect the lives of others, especially those close to me, then I will.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
The way of the samurai
So I have decided to take a new approach to my relationship with God. I guess I have taken it for granted for a long time, like forever. Recently I have been reading the Hagakure which is said to have been the most influential samurai guide book ever written. A samurai, once he became a retainer, willfully possessed so much loyalty that upon the death of his master he would take his sword and disembowel himself, a practice called tsuifuku. I am amazed by this level of commitment. I guess most of my christian walk I have looked on my relationship more as a thing of convenience, and I won't, I can't anymore. I want to look on life with this kind of immediacy
"The Way of the Samurai is found in death. When it comes to either/or, there is only the quick choice of death. It is not particularly difficult. Be determined and advance. To say that dying without reaching one's aim is to die a dog's death is the frivolous way of sophisticates. When pressed with the choice of life or death, it is not necessary to gain one's aim. We all want to live. And in large part we make our logic according to what we like. But not having attained our aim and continuing to live is cowardice. This is a thin dangerous line. To die without gaining one's aim is a dog's death and fanaticism. But there is no shame in this. This is the substance of the Way of the Samurai. If by setting one's heart right every morning and evening, one is able to live as though his body were already dead, he gains freedom in the Way. His whole life will be without blame, and he will succeed in his calling."-Yamamoto Tsunetomo from the Hagakure
Please don't get me wrong, I don't want my relationship to be something that is strict rules, but it does need a healthy injection of discipline. I want to live like I am not going to wake up tomorrow. I respect what the samurai were about, they made a point to never do anything that could reflect poorly on their master. I also like the quote:
"The priest Tannen used to say in his daily teachings that:
A monk cannot fulfill the Buddhist Way if he does not manifest compassion without and persistently store up courage within. And if a warrior does not manifest courage on the outside and hold enough compassion within his heart to burst his chest, he cannot become a retainer..."
I find it fantastic that you can be a warrior that is full of compassion at the same time, because today people aren't taught that. I hate passivism, but I also don't particularly think that literal violence is the answer either, if that makes sense.
Some might criticize me for modeling my pursuit of God after a warrior mindset, but my Bible says "And from the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven suffers violence, and violent men take it by force." Mathew 11:12
I'm no bible scholar, and I don't speak Greek, but I think that the term "violent" this verse is talking about a passionate, reckless, headlong assault into the kingdom of heaven much the way the samurai were taught that the only way to take on a battle situation was to rush into it with complete disregard for their own safety, to focus only on their enemy and to so ferociously attack it until they were either dead or victorious. That is the urgency and mindset that I am injecting into my pursuit of God.
"The Way of the Samurai is found in death. When it comes to either/or, there is only the quick choice of death. It is not particularly difficult. Be determined and advance. To say that dying without reaching one's aim is to die a dog's death is the frivolous way of sophisticates. When pressed with the choice of life or death, it is not necessary to gain one's aim. We all want to live. And in large part we make our logic according to what we like. But not having attained our aim and continuing to live is cowardice. This is a thin dangerous line. To die without gaining one's aim is a dog's death and fanaticism. But there is no shame in this. This is the substance of the Way of the Samurai. If by setting one's heart right every morning and evening, one is able to live as though his body were already dead, he gains freedom in the Way. His whole life will be without blame, and he will succeed in his calling."-Yamamoto Tsunetomo from the Hagakure
Please don't get me wrong, I don't want my relationship to be something that is strict rules, but it does need a healthy injection of discipline. I want to live like I am not going to wake up tomorrow. I respect what the samurai were about, they made a point to never do anything that could reflect poorly on their master. I also like the quote:
"The priest Tannen used to say in his daily teachings that:
A monk cannot fulfill the Buddhist Way if he does not manifest compassion without and persistently store up courage within. And if a warrior does not manifest courage on the outside and hold enough compassion within his heart to burst his chest, he cannot become a retainer..."
I find it fantastic that you can be a warrior that is full of compassion at the same time, because today people aren't taught that. I hate passivism, but I also don't particularly think that literal violence is the answer either, if that makes sense.
Some might criticize me for modeling my pursuit of God after a warrior mindset, but my Bible says "And from the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven suffers violence, and violent men take it by force." Mathew 11:12
I'm no bible scholar, and I don't speak Greek, but I think that the term "violent" this verse is talking about a passionate, reckless, headlong assault into the kingdom of heaven much the way the samurai were taught that the only way to take on a battle situation was to rush into it with complete disregard for their own safety, to focus only on their enemy and to so ferociously attack it until they were either dead or victorious. That is the urgency and mindset that I am injecting into my pursuit of God.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
